Friday, October 12, 2018

Did I shave my legs for this?

I expected MRI #2 to go much like MRI #1 but life is full of surprises.
I got up early, hopped in the shower, and thinking of the assistant who would likely not care I shaved my legs for the first time in a while.
When my appointment came around I headed in to the hospital and when I was called out of the first waiting room I got changed into the flattering gown to get ready for the stabby part of this afternoons entertainment. When I laid down on the x-ray table I noticed a stark difference. There were no fake trees to distract you from the needles, and the sleek flat-screen was nowhere to be seen. Instead there was a large CRT monitor suspended above me, and the live view was replaced by the cycle of move the needle, take an x-ray, move the needle, take an x-ray. Somewhere between move the needle and take an x-ray something went a little awry. I suddenly felt wrong, saw stars, and the doctor assured me that I would be receiving more numbing while asking the tech for lidocaine. I looked up and to my right at the monitor to see that the needle was bent, it had caught on the bone as they couldn't see while they were guiding it in. By the time they got the fluids in and I was done they decided that I wasn't fit to hobble to the MRI machine alone and I had to get wheeled down to the basement still clad in Kaisers finest daywear. When they left me in the waiting room I realized that I was the only one dressed for the occasion except for a man just returning from his test. "Nice dress!" I blurted from my chair, "Thanks, I've got the legs for it." he returned. By the time I was done with the MRI and slowly made my way back outside thoughts of a consolation drink were replaced by fond feelings for the couch. At least this part is over and we can get onto the next steps and back to regularly scheduled life.


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